The Mom I Hope to Be

You know, before you have a baby, it is really easy to say "When I'm a mom, I'm going to..."  or "When I have a kid, I will never ...".  Now that we're just a couple weeks away from my due date, I've thought a lot about the statements I've made about the type of parent I want to be.  I realize that it will be more difficult to actually put those statements into practice, so I want to publicly and permanently state, here and now, the type of mom I hope to be.  And all of you in cyberworld can hold me accountable (and laugh at me when you see me realize that it is, indeed, much harder than it looks!).

I want to be a disciplinarian.  From toddler to teenager days, I want to have high expectations for my child that I enforce without question.  I want to be strict, like my parents were with me.    I realize this may be one of the hardest to uphold, but it is also one of the goals most important to me.  As an educator, I see what a difference it makes when a child is raised with rules and curfews and a no-nonsense attitude.

I want to have a home full of laughter and conversation.  I want my family to actually talk to each other.  Over dinner, while watching TV, on family game night (right, Jesse??), in a car... it doesn't matter.  There is no doubt that I cherish quality time with the people I love, and I want to make sure that time happens with my little family.  And I want a positive household where we laugh together...a lot.

I don't want my baby to sleep in my bed.  Ever.  I know it will take serious commitment from me and Jesse, but I think it will be worth it in the end.  It's just a habit I don't want to start, because I hear it's nearly impossible to break. 

I don't want to put work before my child/family. I think this will be an easier one to keep once I see the face of my baby, but I am a workaholic.  When I first found out I was pregnant and due close to the AP exam, I told people I wanted to go a few days late so I could teach untili the day of the exam.  Every told me I wouldn't be saying that at the time...  but here I am, two weeks away, and I'm still saying that.  I really want to teach my students as long as possible to prepare them.  I'm passionate about my job.  And really, I want to remain passionate about that too.  I think it's important for my child to see how you can enjoy your profession.  However, I don't want to grade papers all night instead of playing with my child.  I don't want to go to a thousand conferences that take me out of town, away from my baby, all the time.  I want to find a strong balance and always put my baby first.

Most of all, I just want to be a good mom.  I want to live up to the expectations people seem to have for me, and for me and Jesse, as parents.  We've had many people tell us they think we'll be great parents and it's incredibly humbling and flattering.  I hope I don't let those people down.

I'm sure there are many, many more I could share, but these are the first ones that come to mind.  And so now they're out there.  I hope my actions can echo these words.