When Emerson was first born, everyone, with the best of intentions, shared their wisdom and guidance. Don't hold her too long, they said. Don't let her fall asleep nursing, they said. Don't rock her to sleep, they said. Let her cry it out, they said. Whatever you do, don't hold her while she sleeps or put her in your bed, they said.
Well... Jesse and I ignored every single scrap of that advice. And that is why we have an eight month old who sleeps in our bed, wakes up every 2-3 hours to nurse, and sometimes goes for 2 hour stretches in the middle of the night where she won't sleep.
So over this Christmas break, I decided to fix this problem. I would take the necessary steps to help my child - and Jesse and me -- sleep better.
I wanted to avoid the "cry it out" method. It seemed cruel (and some experts claim it is damaging to their sense of trust). So I got advice from Facebook, books, magazines and peers. Everyone had a different story. Some people swear by the cry it out method, saying that in 3 days, your baby will sleep through the night. Some people say to walk in, touch your baby and soothe her, to calm her fears but then walk away. Some people say to hold her until she stops crying but put her down the second she stops.
Here's what I say: do what you, as your baby's Mama, knows best. I did. And after 24 hours, I think it's working.
I knew that if Emerson saw me or Jesse when we were trying to get her to sleep on her own, it would backfire and anger her. I also knew that she fought sleep even if we were cuddling her and rocking her so it wasn't a matter of feeling unloved or deserted. So it was time - I had to let her cry.
And I did. I am, currently actually. And last night, she slept in her crib all night and never once woke up to nurse. When I walk in to get her, she wakes up peacefully and smiles at me. My baby knows I love her and she knows I'm here. She also is finally getting appropriate sleep.
I've accomplished many things in my life but THAT has to be the best feeling of accomplishment I've ever had.
Now let's see how tonight goes...
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Children's Books
Research or statistics or the all-knowing "they" claim that you should read to your babies starting when they are newborns. Of course, I want Emerson to be an avid reader so I tried it from day one (even though she seemed entirely oblivious). However, as I read to her from my baby book collection, I noticed two things: there were very few that focused on Daddy and baby and - more importantly - there were very few that were actually well-written. It bugged me. As an English teacher and wannabe writer, it really bugged me. Especially Goodnight Moon. I know, I know, it's like every child's favorite, but I'm sorry, I don't get it. The the creepy old lady in the corner saying hush? Saying good night to a bowl full of mush? Really? How did this book get so popular?
After fussing about the books, I realized, I had a solution - write one myself! And it just so happened that Father's Day was around the corner. So... I wrote a book. A book specially made for Jesse to read to Emerson. I used Shutterfly to put corresponding pictures to each page and voila! my first children's book was born (yes, first... the bug has now bitten). And now, I thought I'd share my "book" with you, blog readers.
Here are the words to the first book I've ever written. Enjoy!
A little boy named Jesse
Who had lots of toys,
Loved to ride a tractor,
Like lots of little boys
He'd climb upon the high seat
And snuggle close to his dad.
Enjoying the sun and the ride,
He loved the fun that he had.
And he thought he'd never love anything more.
When Jesse grew a little bit,
He went away to school.
There he found a camera,
Which he thought was really cool.
He learned how to take beautiful pictures
From working hard in his classes.
He grew into a talented artist
And he knew he'd found his passion.
And he thought he'd never love anything more.
Although Jesse loved his family,
He dreamed of moving away.
He wanted to live in Florida
Where the sun shined every day.
So Jesse took his camera
And moved south near the beach
The sun, the water, the friends,
He fell in love with each.
And he thought he'd never love anything more.
But after awhile, Jesse started
To miss a girl back home.
He followed his heart, moved back,
And made that girl his own.
He gave her a diamond ring
And took her for his wife.
They bought a new home
And started a beautiful life.
And he thought he'd never love anything more.
Two years later, Jesse and his wife
Had a little baby girl.
On a Good Friday in April,
She came into the world.
It took only one glance, one second
For Jesse to fall in love.
He held her in his arms
And thanked God above.
He looked into her blue eyes,
Played with her fingers, toes, and ears.
He slept with her curled on his chest
And helped soothe away her tears.
And, though he thought he'd loved
All those things before,
When he looked at his daughter Emerson,
He KNEW he'd never love anything more.
After fussing about the books, I realized, I had a solution - write one myself! And it just so happened that Father's Day was around the corner. So... I wrote a book. A book specially made for Jesse to read to Emerson. I used Shutterfly to put corresponding pictures to each page and voila! my first children's book was born (yes, first... the bug has now bitten). And now, I thought I'd share my "book" with you, blog readers.
Here are the words to the first book I've ever written. Enjoy!
A little boy named Jesse
Who had lots of toys,
Loved to ride a tractor,
Like lots of little boys
He'd climb upon the high seat
And snuggle close to his dad.
Enjoying the sun and the ride,
He loved the fun that he had.
And he thought he'd never love anything more.
When Jesse grew a little bit,
He went away to school.
There he found a camera,
Which he thought was really cool.
He learned how to take beautiful pictures
From working hard in his classes.
He grew into a talented artist
And he knew he'd found his passion.
And he thought he'd never love anything more.
Although Jesse loved his family,
He dreamed of moving away.
He wanted to live in Florida
Where the sun shined every day.
So Jesse took his camera
And moved south near the beach
The sun, the water, the friends,
He fell in love with each.
And he thought he'd never love anything more.
But after awhile, Jesse started
To miss a girl back home.
He followed his heart, moved back,
And made that girl his own.
He gave her a diamond ring
And took her for his wife.
They bought a new home
And started a beautiful life.
And he thought he'd never love anything more.
Two years later, Jesse and his wife
Had a little baby girl.
On a Good Friday in April,
She came into the world.
It took only one glance, one second
For Jesse to fall in love.
He held her in his arms
And thanked God above.
He looked into her blue eyes,
Played with her fingers, toes, and ears.
He slept with her curled on his chest
And helped soothe away her tears.
And, though he thought he'd loved
All those things before,
When he looked at his daughter Emerson,
He KNEW he'd never love anything more.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Random Thoughts
There are several mini topics I've had on my mind lately so here's a random topic post with mini headlines. :)
She Looks Like... I posted earlier about old wives tales regarding the sex of the baby. Every other day of my pregnancy, someone would guess a different sex based on a different reason (for the record - the Chinese calendar was right, the pencil test was wrong). It made me laugh because people were so convinced by their own reasonings - even though the person right beside them had a different reason to guess a different sex. Well, the latest version of that is when people try to determine who Emerson looks like. At this point, I think Emerson has been compared to every living relative - and even a few who are no longer with us - that she has. I love it though. People still do that to me - if I meet a childhood friend of my mom's, she will immediately tell me how much I look like Mom. A day later, I could meet a childhood friend of my dad's, and he will proceed to proclaim his surprise at how much I look like Dad. I tell people that Emerson doesn't look like anyone...but Emerson. :)
Three months... Immediately after I gave birth, before being dismissed to go home, I had a final visit from both my doctor and my pediatrician. They gave me the same exact advice: give it three months. My doctor said I'd feel like a normal human again in three months. When we asked the pediatrician about different concerns we had, he always said she'd grow out of it in three months. Three months. It sounds like a long time (and felt like it at times!) - but here we are, two months and two weeks later and I have to admit, they were right. Emerson is already a totally different baby, and Mommy and Daddy are normal humans again! Everyone is sleeping better and smiling more! It's amazing how different it is!
Back to Work... I have to preface this mini-post by admitting that I've been incredibly lucky. I've had a nice long maternity leave with Emerson, since it fell right at the end of school. I had her exactly six weeks before school let out, so I had that time plus the entire month of June. But today was my last day to be home with her. I teach a training in Lex the next two weeks and then professional development begins and then, well, school. And even though I'm desperate to return to work, I have a confession: I cried several times today at the idea of leaving her. I've been with her almost the entire day of every single day of her life. That's a lot of time to spend with someone! I miss her already just thinking about it. And the idea of someone else watching her - someone who doesn't know that she likes to be held facing out and that she doesn't like getting hiccups and that she had a hard time falling asleep on her back and that she gags when she needs to spit up and that she likes her little blue elephant toy and that she... well... just someone who doesn't know her like her Mama... the idea of it terrifies me. I cannot express how much I will miss my sweet baby and the Mommy/daughter time we have had together already.
And that's all I have to say about that.
She Looks Like... I posted earlier about old wives tales regarding the sex of the baby. Every other day of my pregnancy, someone would guess a different sex based on a different reason (for the record - the Chinese calendar was right, the pencil test was wrong). It made me laugh because people were so convinced by their own reasonings - even though the person right beside them had a different reason to guess a different sex. Well, the latest version of that is when people try to determine who Emerson looks like. At this point, I think Emerson has been compared to every living relative - and even a few who are no longer with us - that she has. I love it though. People still do that to me - if I meet a childhood friend of my mom's, she will immediately tell me how much I look like Mom. A day later, I could meet a childhood friend of my dad's, and he will proceed to proclaim his surprise at how much I look like Dad. I tell people that Emerson doesn't look like anyone...but Emerson. :)
Three months... Immediately after I gave birth, before being dismissed to go home, I had a final visit from both my doctor and my pediatrician. They gave me the same exact advice: give it three months. My doctor said I'd feel like a normal human again in three months. When we asked the pediatrician about different concerns we had, he always said she'd grow out of it in three months. Three months. It sounds like a long time (and felt like it at times!) - but here we are, two months and two weeks later and I have to admit, they were right. Emerson is already a totally different baby, and Mommy and Daddy are normal humans again! Everyone is sleeping better and smiling more! It's amazing how different it is!
Back to Work... I have to preface this mini-post by admitting that I've been incredibly lucky. I've had a nice long maternity leave with Emerson, since it fell right at the end of school. I had her exactly six weeks before school let out, so I had that time plus the entire month of June. But today was my last day to be home with her. I teach a training in Lex the next two weeks and then professional development begins and then, well, school. And even though I'm desperate to return to work, I have a confession: I cried several times today at the idea of leaving her. I've been with her almost the entire day of every single day of her life. That's a lot of time to spend with someone! I miss her already just thinking about it. And the idea of someone else watching her - someone who doesn't know that she likes to be held facing out and that she doesn't like getting hiccups and that she had a hard time falling asleep on her back and that she gags when she needs to spit up and that she likes her little blue elephant toy and that she... well... just someone who doesn't know her like her Mama... the idea of it terrifies me. I cannot express how much I will miss my sweet baby and the Mommy/daughter time we have had together already.
And that's all I have to say about that.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Disgruntled Wife*
I told Jesse today that I could never be a stay at home mom.
The thing is, it has nothing to do with Emerson. I love taking care of her, especially now that we've figured each other out. I know how she likes to be held (facing out, against my chest); I know that hiccups make her mad and how to soothe them (walk, walk, walk!); I know that she's going to get fussy in the afternoon taking her outside usually helps); I know to expect lots of dirty diapers, burping and spit up, and moments of smiles. I could definitely spend every day with her.
It's the housework! I cannot stand being the only person in charge of laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, etc. (I can just imagine the number of women out there laughing as they read this because, stay at home or not, you're responsible for all of these things as it is.) Before Emerson, Jesse and I shared the household duties. Granted, we had less laundry, we ate out more often, and our house went a little longer between cleanings, but still, it was a mutual responsibility. Now I feel as if, rightfully so, it is my job. After all, Jesse is rarely home and when he is, I like for him to be able to grab a nap and spend time with Emerson. So in the hours that Emerson spends sleeping, I rush around taking care of the house. I'm exhausted! :)
Last night, after enjoying a homecooked meal made by me, Jesse tells me he has to run. He had to work. Fine! I'll cook and clean! I said. Just go! He laughed. He asked if I was going to start a blog called "Disgruntled Wife."
No, Jesse, not a whole blog. Just a post.
Now I gotta run - the dryer just beeped and the trash needs taking out. :)
The thing is, it has nothing to do with Emerson. I love taking care of her, especially now that we've figured each other out. I know how she likes to be held (facing out, against my chest); I know that hiccups make her mad and how to soothe them (walk, walk, walk!); I know that she's going to get fussy in the afternoon taking her outside usually helps); I know to expect lots of dirty diapers, burping and spit up, and moments of smiles. I could definitely spend every day with her.
It's the housework! I cannot stand being the only person in charge of laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, etc. (I can just imagine the number of women out there laughing as they read this because, stay at home or not, you're responsible for all of these things as it is.) Before Emerson, Jesse and I shared the household duties. Granted, we had less laundry, we ate out more often, and our house went a little longer between cleanings, but still, it was a mutual responsibility. Now I feel as if, rightfully so, it is my job. After all, Jesse is rarely home and when he is, I like for him to be able to grab a nap and spend time with Emerson. So in the hours that Emerson spends sleeping, I rush around taking care of the house. I'm exhausted! :)
Last night, after enjoying a homecooked meal made by me, Jesse tells me he has to run. He had to work. Fine! I'll cook and clean! I said. Just go! He laughed. He asked if I was going to start a blog called "Disgruntled Wife."
No, Jesse, not a whole blog. Just a post.
Now I gotta run - the dryer just beeped and the trash needs taking out. :)
Monday, June 13, 2011
Emerson's smile
Hello blog readers. Meet Emerson's smile.
If you are anything like Emerson's Mommy and Daddy, you have an incredible urge to do whatever it takes to keep that smile around. You may find yourself dancing around the room. You may find yourself singing in an unusually high voice. You may find yourself making choo choo noises over and over until that train has traveled the world. But I've warned you.
And it will be incredibly worth it.
I first saw this smile when Emerson was six weeks old. I was going to meet Jesse for lunch and I had just put Emerson in her carseat. I asked her - in a high-pitched, sing-song voice, if she was ready to go see Daddy. And she smiled (I took that as a yes!).
Since then, she has smiled more and more. As a matter of fact, if she's awake and not grunting from gas, she's probably smiling.
And there's probably someone nearby acting like a fool - and loving it.
Nursing
Before I even got pregnant, I knew that I wanted to nurse my children but it was not an easy decision. I wasn't completely "sold" - and, from what I'd heard, I needed to be sold in order to stick with it. So I attended a nursing class and researched all the benefits, and by the time Emerson was born, I was sold. After actually seeing her little face, that dedication deepened even further - I wanted whatever was absolutely best for her.
But man oh man, was nursing a challenge at first! For something that is so natural, it can be extremely difficult. I stated from the beginning that I wanted to use this blog to teach others about pregnancy, and this, I feel, is an important lesson. Nursing is rewarding, incredible, important, beneficial - but it is probably the most challenging thing I faced in awhile (and dealing with it while struggling with post-pregnancy hormones doesn't help!).
While your baby is born knowing that you can feed her, she is not born with the innate ability to actually get the milk. She has to learn how, and Mama does too. And that process can be painful. It was for me. In addition, your life is suddenly scheduled in 2 hour increments. Emerson ate every three hours and it took me an hour to nurse her so I was sleeping for two hours at a time and, during the day, rushing to fit in as much as possible in two hour spans. I could no longer be spontaneous. My family went out to eat for my dad's birthday but I couldn't go because it was during Emerson's time to eat.
In the end, nursing was physically and emotionally difficult and draining. Everyone told me it would get better. We'd figure it out. Don't give up.
And you know what? They were right. Seven weeks later, Emerson and I have figured it out. She eats much quicker. She's starting to eat wait 4 hours between sessions instead of 3. As I stated in a previous post, I've learned how to nurse in public. And best of all, there is absolutely no pain. Instead, I'm enjoying the rewarding part - the knowledge that I am providing absolutely everything Emerson needs. And only I can.
That's another rewarding part of nursing. When she is hungry, only I can feed her. When she got her immunization shots, only I could soothe her. I have no doubt it is one of the main reasons Emerson can already find me in a crowd and can recognize my voice.
And there may be another, slightly selfish, reason to continue nursing - the weight loss! I am already almost at my pre-pregnancy weight. Someone recently told me they couldn't tell I'd ever had a baby. This is a great feeling, especially after feeling so fat and bloated for months!
I would encourage anyone to try nursing. It is by far the most incredible thing you can do for your baby. But be prepared for tears and struggles. Call people to help you through it. And most importantly, don't give up.
But man oh man, was nursing a challenge at first! For something that is so natural, it can be extremely difficult. I stated from the beginning that I wanted to use this blog to teach others about pregnancy, and this, I feel, is an important lesson. Nursing is rewarding, incredible, important, beneficial - but it is probably the most challenging thing I faced in awhile (and dealing with it while struggling with post-pregnancy hormones doesn't help!).
While your baby is born knowing that you can feed her, she is not born with the innate ability to actually get the milk. She has to learn how, and Mama does too. And that process can be painful. It was for me. In addition, your life is suddenly scheduled in 2 hour increments. Emerson ate every three hours and it took me an hour to nurse her so I was sleeping for two hours at a time and, during the day, rushing to fit in as much as possible in two hour spans. I could no longer be spontaneous. My family went out to eat for my dad's birthday but I couldn't go because it was during Emerson's time to eat.
In the end, nursing was physically and emotionally difficult and draining. Everyone told me it would get better. We'd figure it out. Don't give up.
And you know what? They were right. Seven weeks later, Emerson and I have figured it out. She eats much quicker. She's starting to eat wait 4 hours between sessions instead of 3. As I stated in a previous post, I've learned how to nurse in public. And best of all, there is absolutely no pain. Instead, I'm enjoying the rewarding part - the knowledge that I am providing absolutely everything Emerson needs. And only I can.
That's another rewarding part of nursing. When she is hungry, only I can feed her. When she got her immunization shots, only I could soothe her. I have no doubt it is one of the main reasons Emerson can already find me in a crowd and can recognize my voice.
And there may be another, slightly selfish, reason to continue nursing - the weight loss! I am already almost at my pre-pregnancy weight. Someone recently told me they couldn't tell I'd ever had a baby. This is a great feeling, especially after feeling so fat and bloated for months!
I would encourage anyone to try nursing. It is by far the most incredible thing you can do for your baby. But be prepared for tears and struggles. Call people to help you through it. And most importantly, don't give up.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Changes
When you are pregnant with your first child, people like to frequently remind you that your life is about to change forever. I'm assuming they are talking about the lack of sleep, the lack of time, the happiness of holding a baby, etc. The changes everyone anticipates. However, I have noticed many other changes in myself and in my life since having a baby. Here are just a few:
Bye Bye Modesty - Okay to be fair, I was warned specifically about this one, but I doubted it. I have always been very modest and people always told me I'd get over that after having a baby. I had no idea. In the past week, I have pulled my shirt up and nursed my baby outside at the Country Club and inside the middle of Macy's. What baby wants, baby gets.
Definition of 'clean' - Emerson likes to spit up. She spits up while I'm holding her sweetly on my chest. She spits up while I'm holding her upright in my lap. She spits up at any given moment. I can literally not change clothes every time the baby decides to taste her milk for a second time. I'd have no clothes. Clean clothes, to me, have become clothes that are not, well, noticeably stained in baby spit up.
Cheering on the Gas - Never in a million years did I think I'd ever cheer over gas. But I do. Daily. My poor baby has severe gas that causes her to roll up in a ball, turn red, and grunt in pain. It kills me to see this. So every time this happens, I push on her legs and cheer her on. "You can do it! Push it out!" I say in a soothing yet supportive voice. Then, when she does finally get some release, I smile and proclaim, "Good girl! You did it!". I literally am a cheerleader for passing gas.
Whirlwind - I have always admired my mom's ability to clean an entire house, balance a checkbook, cook a meal, and wash 4 loads of laundry...in 30 minutes. I am in awe sometimes watching her work. But I'm starting to figure out how she got that way. When Emerson finishes nursing, I know that I have about 2 hours before she'll want me again. So I turn into a whirlwind. I immediately prioritize everything I want done and then move quickly to do as many as possible in a short amount of time. Shower, check. Makeup? That can wait. Laundry first. Coffee? Definitely. Drying my hair? Nah. It can air dry. Get dressed? Oh yeah, that might be necessary. Dust. Take out the trash. Oh wait, eat. Go, go, go! If this continues, I may get to the point where I can finish half of what my mom can do ... in twice the time!
Of course, there are other changes. I magically survive off of very little sleep. I rarely get to hug my husband. It is a challenge to go to Wal-Mart or McDonald's. I have one priority and that is my baby. But those are changes you expect. The others have taken me totally by surprise.
Bye Bye Modesty - Okay to be fair, I was warned specifically about this one, but I doubted it. I have always been very modest and people always told me I'd get over that after having a baby. I had no idea. In the past week, I have pulled my shirt up and nursed my baby outside at the Country Club and inside the middle of Macy's. What baby wants, baby gets.
Definition of 'clean' - Emerson likes to spit up. She spits up while I'm holding her sweetly on my chest. She spits up while I'm holding her upright in my lap. She spits up at any given moment. I can literally not change clothes every time the baby decides to taste her milk for a second time. I'd have no clothes. Clean clothes, to me, have become clothes that are not, well, noticeably stained in baby spit up.
Cheering on the Gas - Never in a million years did I think I'd ever cheer over gas. But I do. Daily. My poor baby has severe gas that causes her to roll up in a ball, turn red, and grunt in pain. It kills me to see this. So every time this happens, I push on her legs and cheer her on. "You can do it! Push it out!" I say in a soothing yet supportive voice. Then, when she does finally get some release, I smile and proclaim, "Good girl! You did it!". I literally am a cheerleader for passing gas.
Whirlwind - I have always admired my mom's ability to clean an entire house, balance a checkbook, cook a meal, and wash 4 loads of laundry...in 30 minutes. I am in awe sometimes watching her work. But I'm starting to figure out how she got that way. When Emerson finishes nursing, I know that I have about 2 hours before she'll want me again. So I turn into a whirlwind. I immediately prioritize everything I want done and then move quickly to do as many as possible in a short amount of time. Shower, check. Makeup? That can wait. Laundry first. Coffee? Definitely. Drying my hair? Nah. It can air dry. Get dressed? Oh yeah, that might be necessary. Dust. Take out the trash. Oh wait, eat. Go, go, go! If this continues, I may get to the point where I can finish half of what my mom can do ... in twice the time!
Of course, there are other changes. I magically survive off of very little sleep. I rarely get to hug my husband. It is a challenge to go to Wal-Mart or McDonald's. I have one priority and that is my baby. But those are changes you expect. The others have taken me totally by surprise.
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